I was doing a little YouTube nostalgia surfing with the bambini, and after our fair share of old cartoons I decided to dredge for early 80s music videos. After enjoying the brilliance of “I Ran” by Flock of Seagulls I searched for “Saftey Dance” by Men Without Hats. And after watching that video, it brought back some really strong feelings, namely how much I hated that video. Here it is, and below you’ll find my brief rationale as to why the is the worst music video ever made.
Now I loved this song, it came out when I was in seventh grade, and I remember thinking that it was up there with Def Leppard’s “Pyromania.” That said, once I saw the video I was forever scarred. I mean how can an 80s new wave band who should be modeling their work on the likes of Devo and Kraftwerk offer up a video set in a kind of Renaissance fair environment? The whole renaissance fair thing is perhaps the most odious aesthetic ever, and having a 1980s dance/new wave song teleported back to the idyllic fields of maypoles and horse drawn carriages is not only wrong, but unforgivable. Where’s the hairspray, parachute pants, and the zippers? How about the insane eye make up and mesh shirts? All they could come up with is bodkins and codpieces? It damaged me when I first saw it, and it hurt just as much last night. What have I done to my children?!